If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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