on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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