Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
