white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
