come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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