That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize