If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
