I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Soap is not a condiment
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
