worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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