I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
