sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
