Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
