I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Congratulations! We have a period
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