Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
