pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
