She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize