Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
