Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
