He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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