Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
