Barsexuality is the new black.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
