Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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