Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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