well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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