Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
