Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
