Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize