u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
