uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
vagina is talking i cant
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
