i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize