Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
