i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
