I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
