I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize