escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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