Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
