question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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