we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
