we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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