Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My brain says no but my pants say off.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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