I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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