Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
