Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
