Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
