If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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