perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize