rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
