Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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