Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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