Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
