So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
