I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I forget how to act sober
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