Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize