OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
