This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
