yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize