I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize