Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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