Sponge bath it is.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
