we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
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