I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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