i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
